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"It
can't happen to me."
Yes, it can. Sexual violence can happen to anyone-regardless of gender,
race, age, socio-economic status, or religion. Victims of sexual assault
include infants, people in their eighties, people of color, lesbians/gays,
individuals with disabilities, women, and men.
It is estimated that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually
assaulted by the age of 18.
Finkelhor,
David, Hotaling, G., Lewis, I., Smith, C. “Sexual
Abuse in a National Survey of Adult Men and Women: Prevalence,
Characteristics, and Risk Factors.” Child Abuse and Neglect, Vol. 14, pp. 19-28,
1990.
Teens 16 to 19 are 3
1/2 times more likely to be victims of rape than the general
population.
Rennison,
Callie. June 2001. "National Crime Victimization Survey:
Criminal Victimization 2000 Changes 1999-2000
with Trends
1993-2000." Washington,
D.C.: Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of
Justice.
Girls
and boys were maltreated at similar rates with the exception
of sexual abuse.
Girls were sexually abused four times as much as boys (at the
rate of 1.6 per 1,000 compared to 0.4 per 1,000 for boys).
Children's
Bureau. (2001). "Child Maltreatment 1999: Reports From
the States to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data
System." Washington,
D.C.: Children's Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and
Human Services.
"Sexual
violence can sometimes be the victim's fault."
Sexual violence is NEVER the victim's fault. It doesn't matter if
the victim was dressed seductively, drinking or using drugs, out
at night alone, homosexual, on a date with the perpetrator, etc.
- no one asks to be raped. The responsibility and blame lie with
the perpetrator, never with the victim.
The absence of injuries
often suggests to others that the victim failed to resist and, therefore,
must have consented. Often, rapists only need the threat of violence
to control their victims. They also sometimes use "date rape"
drugs to incapacitate their victims.
Some victims submit to
the assault for fear of greater harm. Submitting does not mean the
victim gave consent. Each rape victim does whatever he/she needs
to do at the time in order to survive.
"If a child I know was being sexually
abused, he/she would tell me right away."
Because they are confused by the abuse, feel responsible, or are
being threatened by the abuser, children don't automatically tell
a parent. In fact, one study found that most disclosures from
sexually abused children were accidental (74%).
Sorenson,
T. and Snow, B. "How Children Tell: The Process of Disclosure
in Child Sexual Abuse." Child Welfare. 70(1), 3 15. 1991.
 Be sure to talk frequently
and openly about sexual abuse with your child. The more they know
and the more comfortable they feel talking to you, the more willing
they may be to report sexual abuse.
"Males should be able to prevent their rape."
It is estimated that 1 in 6 boys will be sexually assaulted before
age 18 and that nearly 23,000 men are forcibly raped or sexually
assualted each year in the United States.
Finkelhor,
David, Hotaling, G., Lewis, I., Smith, C. “Sexual
Abuse in a National Survey of Adult Men and Women: Prevalence,
Characteristics, and Risk Factors.” Child Abuse and
Neglect,
Vol. 14, pp. 19-28, 1990.
Rennison,
Callie. September 2002. "National Crime Victimization Survey:
Criminal Victimization 2001 Changes 2000-2001 with Trends
1993-2001." Washington, D.C.: Bureau of Justice Statistics,
U.S.
Department of Justice.
Many people mistakenly
believe that men should be able to prevent the assault by putting
up a fight. The belief is that if a man failed to fight off an attack
he is weak. No rape victim - male or female, gay or straight - should
be judged for failure to stop an assault.
Some people also believe
that if the victim is homosexual or had an erection during the assault,
he enjoyed it. No one asks to be raped! And it is important to understand
that sexual response is automatic and not within the victim's control
- just because his body reacted sexually does not mean he enjoyed
the abuse.
"If the people are dating, it's not rape."
Rape is rape, no matter what the relationship is between the victim
and perpetrator. Rape is not just committed by strangers in dark
alleys. It is estimated that almost 70% of all rape and sexual
assualts are committed by someone
known to the victim. In 2002, 10% of female rape or sexual
assault victims identified an intimate as the offender, 57% of
rapes and
sexual
assaults came at the hands of a person the female victim called
a friend or acquaintance, and 2% were identified as “other
relative.”
Rennison,
Callie. "Criminal Victimization, 2002." Washington,
D.C.: Bureau of Justice Statistics,
U.S. Department of Justice.
Everyone has the right
to change their mind - even about sex. One form of sexual contact
does not necessarily open the door to other sexual activity. Even
if the two have had sex before, the perpetrator does not have the
right to force sex on the victim.
There are many ways a
person can be forced into sexual activity. Sometimes perpetrators
use physical force or a weapon, but more often they use coercion,
manipulation, or psychological pressure.
"Most rapes are committed by strangers."
Sexual violence can occur at any time and be perpetrated by anybody.
It is a common misconception that most sexual assaults are committed
by strangers. You are more likely to be sexually assaulted by someone
you know-a friend, date, classmate, neighbor, relative-than by a
stranger in a dark alley. Familiar people and places are often more
dangerous.
Of the over 247,000 women raped or sexually assaulted during 2002,
67% identified the perpetrator as a nonstranger.
Rennison,
Callie. August 2003. "Criminal Victimization, 2002."
National Criminal Victimization Survey. Washington, D.C.:
Bureau
of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice.
Nearly 6 out of 10 rape/sexual assault
incidents occurred in the victim’s home or
at the home of a friend, relative or neighbor.
Greenfeld,
Lawrence. Sex Offenses and Offenders. Bureau of Justice
Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, February 1997
"When an individual commits rape it's because he/she is 'turned
on' and has uncontrollable sexual urges."
Forcing someone to engage in a sexual act against her/his will is
an act of violence and aggression. The perpetrator is using sex
as a weapon to gain power and control over the other person. Desires
may be beyond your control, but your actions are within your control.
Sexual excitement does not justify forced sex.
"Talking about it only makes it worse."
Allowing survivors to discuss sexual abuse/assault helps them heal.
Speaking out about sexual assault might be an essential part of
the recovery process. It empowers the survivor to erase the shame
and stop the silence of sexual violence. However, no survivor should
be forced to speak, publicly or privately, before they are ready.
Every survivor is the expert on their own recovery. For many, recovery
becomes an ongoing process of change that may continue for 1, 5,
or 20 years.
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